Axel has decided to stop fighting his cancer. What is left is merely pain management. It would seem that necrosis of the tumor caused such a painful inflammatory reaction, pressing on nerves and a vital artery, that the fight was no longer worth it to him. If the remainder of his days were to consist of such insults they would be a waste of those precious days. His decision.
We don’t know how long he has.
Of course a miracle isn’t impossible. Perhaps his own immune system will save him. I’m the only one with this faint spark of hope. Of course I keep giving him his supplements and menu items specifically for immune system support. I don’t know what I am going to do without him.
Even writing, reading, and commenting has lost its luster.
I’m still here and who knows? Maybe I’ll get my money back from my international con artist ex-husband’s bank. Maybe I’ll find something else to spark a bit of passion. Maybe I’ll find yet another one-true-love. Maybe I’ll find a hobby, a roommate, a pet. Maybe I’ll get myself “a job”.
At the moment, none of those options appeal.