I am so fed up with Leftist, Liberal, and “What about my Legacy?” Republican whining that I have decided to confess. With enough torture I can be persuaded to spill my guts all over their parade and, what’s worse, irregardless of further whining to the contrary, this idea of mine is one that they’re going to like.
Peace shall reign.
First of all, let us identify the problem. (Inspired by David Cole’s, Black Cop, Drunk Jew, White City):
One of the many sociologically damaging effects of smoking bans is that places where people tend to talk—live—with each other, such as cafes, diners, and bars, now function as portable offices, get-them-in-get-them out affairs, and fermentation tanks. Back before smoking bans, a cop could show up at a cafe, diner, or bar, drink some coffee or soft drinks, smoke, and chit-chat with the owner, employees, and patrons such as to find out about new developments in the precinct and perhaps thereby prevent crimes of greater sociological significance than smoking infractions.
—Excerpted from my Disqus comment.
Is it possible, that the recent smoking ban in New Orleans has set off a powder keg?
In California, youth-obsessed but perpetually parched, desert-dwelling, and well-divorced women effectively run the politics of the state. I’ll venture that perhaps tobacco smoke is not compatible with the lungs of fat-free vegetarians and therefore, perhaps, a tad more offensive to same than paranoia-inducing marijuana.
A more serious issue however that applies to every state in the U.S. is that there is a severe man shortage!
My recommendation to solving these problems is that lovely spa-like Non-Profit, Sliding Scale Bordello/Mental Health centers be built in California or, better yet, perhaps some of its prisons can be revitalized and re-purposed with green spaces, gardens, and meditation centers.
Men can be encouraged to volunteer to perform community service at these Life Enhancement Centers by first submitting to “Line Ups” and then allow the well-moneyed to bid on them or even virtuously donate them to their less endowed sisters, for a well-supervised, politically-correct, hour long “session”.
Women could pay for luxury accommodations therein and pay into funds for purposes of accommodating their less fortunate sisters.
Hospitality lobbies of all sorts could also be encouraged to donate, as well as solicit donations from their patrons.
Of course, these Feminine Massage Centers would be smoke free, provide healthy snacks, and safe sex materials.
Meanwhile, the rest of the nation can be free to lift all smoking bans.