I haven’t been very active lately on FetLife and I’ve closed all my online dating profiles months ago.
Occasionally I get an offer to be sexed/beaten by a male with demonstrated incapacity in deferred gratification, or to be the one to do the sexing/beating by an aspiring supplicant, or to do either including “getting to know you” purely electronically.
These offers provide me neither comfort nor titillation.
I remember my history in the greater BDSM community, whatever that is, which I suppose officially started when I was accepted as the submissive of a closeted bisexual man in San Francisco shortly after I turned 18. The “closet” part was his heterosexual side.
He later went “straight”. I think I can take some credit although that wasn’t my intention particularly given his carefully hidden ambition to farm babies with the state paying for that “freedom” of his. I don’t regret declining that offer.
Fast forward after an adulthood in my physical prime replete with men pretending to be Dominants and Masters who were merely interested in being thought sexy or powerful as a salve for previous life grievances, or were even merely squirreling away political influence and money (sometimes mine!) so as to have the means of decadent fulfillment to their taste once their charm failed to attract sufficiently juicy parasitic hosts, or were already the hosts themselves to a parade of emotionally/financially manipulative blood suckers.
But then I met Axel—the love of my life. I thought this meant that once again, the BDSM community was my tribe. It wasn’t. Probably never was. Axel died. I’m still around though and unfathomably healthy such as to be free of all known disease of physical origin.
My brain however provides poisons that most are best advised to forego.
I’ve likely “peaked” at least in the U.S. Even so, the idea of watching the U.S. from afar with live human beings with attention span, entirely irrespective of private sexual practices, even if that means celibacy for yours truly appeals more and more.
Stale virtue signallers and dating-by-catalogue types are invited to read the following before you determine that Islam is an option preferable to self-restraint. Probably too long for you to read though.
Please do not assume that my inclusion of the above link means that I’ve succumbed to mainstream propaganda with regard to conspiracy theories. Rather, I’m developing one of my own. It’s quite the long game.