Men who have learned all their feminism and chivalry lessons from women and who have succeeded in garnering the favors of same tend to look at me as a puzzle. Considering themselves successful in their understanding of women, then either I must be a freak or in need of educating. It is only men who have been seriously burned by women, in my experience, who are the least bit open to the idea that most women do not know what they want but rather are either wholly victimized by propaganda, or cynically use such propaganda to their own ends. I’ve often been the target of outright hostility from “white knights” who consider me an enemy of all the good, empowered, and/or victimized women of their experience, or at least worthy of conversion. If the typical Leftist considers himself to be more intelligent and educated than the typical Conservative, then any challenges to one’s reality need to be dealt with aggressively.
Similarly, those men who have achieved some degree of sexual satisfaction with women despite a tendency to over-emote or otherwise display the “sensitivity” and “vulnerability” that supposedly feminists desire might similarly emote as a means of attempting to educate an anti-feminist woman such as myself to get into line.
As for men who have come to believe that women are the enemy or cannot be trusted then I am a threat to that wordview as well, especially if I cause a crack in it.
It would seem that most men who I encounter in my daily life these days are at somewhat of a loss with me such that there is some insistence that I take on a more aggressive role in the relationship even if I cannot seem to muster up the enthusiasm.
For one, as a woman, I’m supposed to know what I want. In a lot of ways, that’s true, but I don’t think it can be taught. Therefore, I prefer to keep my own counsel which I suppose makes me even more of a puzzle. If it is any help, I prefer to meet a man on his own turf rather than to introduce him to mine. I learn more about a man who introduces me to a part of his world than I would by randomly introducing him to my new environment, which I haven’t even fully adapted to myself. This also allows me to see whether I can adapt to his.
One of the realms of womanhood that is elusive to me is the notion of “domesticity”. As much as I like to cook, and don’t mind housework, modern home decor and accoutrements are foreign elements to me. I’m therefore not in the least put off by workshops, garages, farms, and other places where the action that occurs within them is more important than the decor. Whereas the modern suburban living room seems “foreign” to me, the kitchen less so as it is a place where creations are manufactured. Similarly, the outdoors is more beautiful to me than a museum and I prefer disarray over anal-retentive order.
I don’t particularly enjoy shopping. although some food stores, for instance, are so well-equipped that it is a pleasure. Shopping at a farm however provides far more appeal.
Another area of femininity which I lack is social inquisitiveness. I don’t tend to ask people a lot of questions about themselves. I like to think that I’m a good listener but I expect the speaker to say what he or she wants to say rather than converse just for the sake of it. For this reason I’ll often miss out on details that are important to other people such as where they grew up, how many siblings they have, whether their parents are living, and so on. I readily admit to not having a lot of interest in these mundane details. Rather, I’m far more interested in what a person thinks about current events, issues, politics, religion, and sex, than whether they learned how to ride a pony when they were six. I might even forget to ask what a person does for a living.
I’m not likely to achieve a major transformation away from these personality tics without the aid of serious hypnosis. Simply attempting to shame me for my lack of femininity is useless. Why would any man find that to be a reasonable approach?