Leaving Florida

The manufactured home that I inherited from Axel and which was his father’s was put up for sale today. The residential community decided to stop honoring the grandfathered-in lease agreement because Axel and I weren’t married and to otherwise charge me “market rate”. This indicates to me that they don’t want me here and so I have put the home up for sale. I have no idea where I am to live now.

I no longer feel any particular connection with any particular state although I certainly prefer warm weather over snow.

Irregardless, I will probably move in with my parents in New Jersey which is its own Hell but just deserts, as well, I suppose, until I can decide what else to do.

The only “direction” that makes sense to me is to be the submissive to a heterosexual man but not to be submissive or subordinate to a woman. There would not appear to be much demand for the likes of me, a 54-year-old heterosexual female iconoclast out of touch with the modern world and possessing decidedly regressive political and social views. Perhaps if I were younger and prettier there would be more of a market. This is not to say that I have been overwhelmed by the quality of men expressing an interest in me either. I suppose that Axel spoiled me beyond repair.

Meanwhile, it would seem that women with my age and education are not in short supply and further have not exactly endeared themselves to the world. The fact that I haven’t been of this world for all intensive purposes for at least 17 years (if not much longer) is of no consequence if demographics are destiny. Women my age are expected to be well-off and so sexually liberated that sex is a matter of course with no particularly intimate connection or commitment required. It would seem that for many men my age, sex is either the only reason to have any contact with a female, or there is a odd sense of worship about them. If there are other options I suspect it would be with women who are familiar in terms of social group and geographic area. Since I have no “people” any more, only scattered acquaintances or persons with whom I don’t have a whole lot of commonality, I certainly cannot represent myself as a known-entity or otherwise vetted.

Lately, it would seem, I get the most pleasure out of life from interacting with strangers online, to cook, write, swim, and smoke. Everything else seems dull and without meaning. I haven’t even bothered to sing much lately. At least I have perfected my sourdough pizza recipe for my current environs and ingredients. It’s out of this world.

I had the pleasure of the company of a girlfriend for a week; however, since she’s a feminist and practically a socialist, there are huge blocks of conversational fodder that are effectively off limits being that we each find the other’s views to be insane. However, at least she’s warm and fun, and we were able to do things together like eat, watch movies, and talk about Axel. That was something but I can’t imagine that we could live together and preserve our friendship at the same time.

I’ll miss having her here in Florida as her visits have been the high points of my existence since Axel died.

For what it’s worth, I’ll continue to drive to meet Dominant men in Florida for as long as interest from them persists. I wouldn’t rule out moving in with such a man if he wants to keep me around. As always, I offer cooking, shopping, laundry, housekeeping, and first class fellatio for starters. Writing, editing, computer, and secretarial services; assistance to a general contractor or similar trade; travel itinerary and concierge; and dog or livestock breeding services also available.

 

12 thoughts on “Leaving Florida

  1. Pingback: Leaving Florida – Manosphere.com

    • Thanks for the vote of confidence. Ironically it would appear that Americans are so acclimated to consistency that the notion of taking on an oddball like me can well outweigh initiative. The fact that I offer no guarantees because there is something known as chemistry, which I’m unable to fake, adds to the risk of any energy expended in terms of overtures to me. I don’t know what to say about that. It just is.

      Sometimes the devil you know is preferable to the one you don’t know.

    • I’ve no doubt that you’re right in that money is all that this is. However lying to Axel before he died and otherwise making life uncomfortable for me isn’t how I want to live my life. I don’t fit into this community of octogenarians who look at me as some sort of voluntary servant, validator of their beliefs, youthful curiosity, and prospective member of their entitled middle class female club anyway. Even so, if a roommate who I could live with would suddenly appear, and we both agreed to live here together, it is as nice a place as any. Living here alone however, or if something should happen to that hypothetical him, is not what I want to do given these goings on.

      I need a change anyway. There are too many ghosts here. I wish I knew where I ought to go. I’m out of ideas. I’m also sure that lacking any real social support system I’m a sitting duck for the next mercenary landlord. At least if I belonged to him I’d feel a sense of purpose. I’m being facetious. I can only hope that my value to anyone is more than merely mercenary, particularly if I suddenly find myself in better financial straits, which is a distinct possibility.

      • I can mend and alter, and I embroider and tat. My experiences with knitting and crocheting however have been less than encouraging. But I’ve done some esoteric stuff like skinning and tanning my own goat fur and then refurbishing my own shoes with it. Have also done a bit of human and veterinary stitchery. That would make me more of the prairie sort of craftswoman rather than the parlor sort.

  2. Pingback: Maybe Jacksonville, Maybe ESL | caprizchka

    • Thank you! I’m showing my home twice this week and then I go take a drive to Northern Florida and check out apartments, cigar clubs, food stores, and beaches. Maybe I’ll remain in Florida after all. At least I can still smoke here.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s