Respect the Lie

It would seem to me that lying to women is a more effective seduction strategy by the numbers than telling the truth. Similarly, as a woman, appearing to be gullible to lies attracts more liars, whether that gullibility be a notion of my own superiority or that men don’t lie. Truth is mean and unsexy. However, of course, certain types go for mean, this writer included, but not if absurdity outweighs image.

Friendships also require loyalty to popular narratives such that if a truth is scary, then ignoring it is a sign of respect or a means to be “kind”. Solving problems is oppressive and scary when the solution is not one that comes out of a can. Translation: Good things come out of a can and are widely available; Bad things are aberrations.

It becomes clear to me that this group psychology is how it comes to be that increased social and political power in women eventually results in population correction whether by lack of desire or being invaded by brutes who are less sensitive and respectful of these female-centric notions.

Observing that every man in attendance at an event is essentially emasculated in terms of appearance and demeanor doesn’t outweigh the invisible oppression of “The Patriarchy” which is something to condemn. If it is the women who are doing all the talking, wearing all the finery, and who are the beneficiaries of a host of servants by way of healthcare and beauty treatments, then that is because that they are so smart and intelligent to have trained their men to be so silently complicit, rather than “foolishly” running their mouths off. The reality of the present company demographics doesn’t outweigh the existence of a silent and overwhelming Patriarchy elsewhere. It isn’t “respectful” to point out the absurdity of this logic.

Similarly, it isn’t helpful to point out that the majority of the books on the bookshelves of the most literate among us were written by smokers, many of whom went on to live longer lives than the majority of male Baby Boomers will enjoy. It also isn’t helpful to point out that tobacco has numerous medicinal benefits to include cognitive enhancement and prevention of various forms of dementia and neurological decline. Such notions are oppressive to the feelings of those who know that tobacco is bad but marijuana is good.

Vegetable oil like canola oil is also “good,” even though its genetic forebear “rapeseed oil” has been known for decades to cause lung lesions in restaurant workers forced to inhale the stuff, and that lung cancer in China, where hot oil wok cooking is the norm, is more prevalent than in populations where smoking and cooking in lard are both more popular.

Truth isn’t very respectful in a world where the big lie rules.

13 thoughts on “Respect the Lie

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  2. Interesting post –

    Does lying get you ahead with women and life. The answer as always is “it depends”.
    But I believe the sweet spot of inter-gender discourse is truthful statements that are socially acceptable.

    For example:
    A young man when asked by his main girl what he did last night could:
    Lie – I was studying human physiology last night until 2am.
    Tell Blatant Truth – I was boinking another of your sorority sisters until 2am.
    Or could do something like
    “don’t ask me questions you don’t want me to answer” or some such

    The point being that I for one could always put things more deftly in conversations with women. I don’t since I am blunt to a fault but it does make things awkward at times. And perhaps I should channel the spirit of “slick willy” to help me in some instances. The issue from a woman’s point is that sometimes truth tellers are not trying to be hurtful. Sometimes they just don’t have the ability, time or understanding to soft peddle statements.

    Of sometimes a man gets pissed off there is always that.

    • It would seem to me that inquisitiveness is yet one more feminine quality that I lack. It cost me a relationship even if that ending was all for the best. “How was your day?” always seemed to me to be too demanding and otherwise fraught with expectation. “You’ll tell me what I need to know” is more my style. It’s up to me to say, “I don’t need to hear this,” rather than “How dare you answer my inquiries truthfully.” I am also likely to answer a question from a paramour with, “Are you sure you want to know?” There’s nothing wrong with circumspection but to be continuously assaulted with the need for affirmation of the lie is why I don’t have much in the way of female friends.

  3. This reminds me of something an old baptist preacher I knew used to say: “You can’t keep people from talking bad about you – but you can make them have to lie to do it.”

    The application here is that the truth doesn’t have to be mean or awkward if you conduct yourself in a way that doesn’t make it so.

    • It’s easier just to keep my mouth shut and attempt to avoid eye contact when pressed for “truth”. That said, I would way prefer to hear the truth myself. Even when it hurts. I don’t require affirmation.

  4. Perhaps I should have qualified the above post by saying the truth about “you” doesn’t have to be mean or awkward. The truth about “them” might be another story.

  5. This raises an interesting discussion point. Do women want to be lied to?

    Game in it’s many forms is a form of self promotion to the point of “lying”. But I have often wondered about this dynamic.

    We have all seen women be dazzled by a pied piper of “great things coming” men. Perhaps this is just another form of dominance. The weaving of reality to shroud a woman’s perceptions of her partner. The ultimate frame grab if you will.

    • Considering my own questionable femininity, I remember my own acclimation to truth. For me, if truth comes with genuine affection it’s a lot easier to manage. Axel was very truthful with me and it often hurt. But he would explain that to me too.

      As an adult I’m capable of managing such emotions. However, “maturity” itself to a woman is a mixed bag. I think that’s gotten worse over the years in these United States, although it would appear that some young women today are coming out more mature than their mothers are.

      The Pied Piper metaphor is apt when women in particular as consumers are being conditioned to expect excitement and novelty at every turn. It’s a dopamine addiction. It’s also the appeal of a child. A man less “dazzling” is the adult even if there’s something pretty dazzling about bluntness and indifference.

  6. Pingback: Decadence and Islam | caprizchka

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