Smoking Electrician Who Hates Snow

If that title grabs your attention and fits the bill, you may just find yourself at the head of the line of those vying for my affections.

I may be “retired” and “of a certain age” but shopping, golfing, or talking about nothing doesn’t appeal when my household is like a gaping wound with no man in it.

What do I care about intellectual discussions and evidence of sophisticated tastes when there are no strong, capable hands around? Not at all is what.

What is so great about having a relatively preserved youthful appearance and otherwise catching glances when my package is constantly attracting the wrong type? I need a Blue Collar image consultant which flags me as a masculinity-friendly, non-television-driven iconoclast, as opposed to whatever I appear to be now.

Of course, I am probably out of my element here in Southwest Florida, where I find that if I open my mouth to do anything but smile, nod, and affirm, I shock people with my lack of “normalcy”.

So. What happened? A couple of outlets in my home stopped working for no reason. I wouldn’t even have noticed but my electric toothbrush ran out of charge. This manufactured home presents its own issues because it isn’t, well, “normal”. I’ll probably pick up the phone and some fresh-faced child will show up and I’ll pay him a bundle. I can afford it, for now, but an excuse to bring a man into my home and keep him here for a little while, roll out some sourdough for a pizza or something, and otherwise relish the notion of practical skills that don’t come with a whole lot of either intellectualizing or mutual affirmations would be so welcome about now.

I remember how prospective clients would be drawn to Axel and his truck, with its clever logo and the warm inviting aura shared by both parties. I’m going to have to start prowling parking lots myself but I don’t quite gel with the natives here, for some reason.

What level of so-called “empowerment,” or “independence” makes up for having no man around? What is so great about being complimented for whatever it is that’s so great about me but which has resulted in me being not just alone for the holidays, but alone at a profound level?

Meanwhile, I’ll tough this situation out for a while, because, I can always brush my teeth in the kitchen. Who is going to know?

4 thoughts on “Smoking Electrician Who Hates Snow

  1. Pingback: Smoking Electrician Who Hates Snow |

    • OK. Funny. The problem was in the GFCI switch that when the calm, cool electrician’s hands touched it, it was fine. When the nutty lady touched it, doing the test-and-reset, over and over, not fine. Now it would appear to be working, even for me, just fine. It just needed to be dominated. That’s all. Oh boy. At least now I know where to find a nice, competent, and understanding electrician quite nearby who told me that this is not the first time he’s experienced this very issue. Too young for me and married, of course. I found something else for him to do. Must keep competent tradesmen happy! Meanwhile, this is also not the first time that nutty lady has had unpredictable effects on circuitry. Probably a good idea to keep me far away from pacemakers.

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