Burmese Pythons

Axel, among other even more exotic pursuits, used to raise Burmese Pythons, in an apartment in Pennsylvania. He had some great stories about the things that they would do and the sheer danger of being physically overwhelmed by these gigantic creatures. I’m not an expert like he was on Burmese Pythons and so my retelling of his stories probably does not do them justice. I would have liked to have recorded some of them however he wouldn’t hear of it. The moment that the digital recorder would be positioned, he would clam up. Since I resist the notion of secretly recording anyone who I love, we were at a stalemate.

I do recall one of the stories with regard to two Burmese Pythons mating in his bathroom, with the female being less than receptive, such that the two of them managed to dislodge and remove Axel’s toilet.

When Axel happened to come upon them however, the male approached him so aggressively, that Axel decided to slam the door shut and then turn off the household water, with a parting remark to the effect of, “you kids have fun!”

I’m not sure very many people would have approached such a situation so rationally and dispassionately.

The ability to handle exotic situations is something that probably comes with experience, innate knowledge, the appropriate hormone balance, and who knows what else. In my experience, very few women have quite the grasp of the risk assessment such that their instantaneous reaction is necessarily the most appropriate. However, plenty of women think that they are “smart” or “intelligent” enough to react in such a way that they don’t lose a limb. Thanks to Feminism, women need men like fish need bicycles. You go, girl!

Most animals issue some sort of warning when they feel that they are being attacked. In other cases, an animal, when faced with the futility of a situation, might faint and surrender.

If a spider crawls on the same animal’s limb, however, the larger animal might react with an instantaneous “kill” reaction, even if that spider “loves” that animal (or says that it does while lying its little spider ass off). It doesn’t matter when it comes to threats, which are highly subjective. The predictability of diverse animals’ reactions to given threats depends on a host of factors, to include latitude, season, genetics, and who knows what else.

The spider, when it dies, might be saying something to itself like, “I was only trying to help!”

If it manages to get away however with merely a damaged limb or ego it may hesitate to attempt the same stunt again, or at least not with the same sort of animal.

Sometimes that is not only the appropriate response but also the response desired by the animal issuing the warning.

Little girls who assume that they have the capacity to handle all other females, have probably not yet encountered an animal such as myself. Simply being born female does not give a human being the wherewithal to raise pythons. A parent (or husband) who has not impressed upon her this lesson could be called guilty of neglect. Perhaps such a parent presumed that such a lesson was his narcissistic wife’s job.

As for Axel, however, he adopted a learned helplessness approach to some women such that he wouldn’t invest too much energy in attempting to make them comply with his wishes, except in certain notable cases such as the time he saved one woman’s life by knocking out a different woman who happened to have been pointing a gun at the other. His attitude was generally, “Do what I say or there’s the door.” Unfortunately, certain family members abused his noblesse oblige.

Even if the wish was really important, in my experience Axel was generally subdued. However when attempting to talk sense into a spider that has not yet lost a limb, the spider just gapes silently, with no notion that it is possible that a bad experience can be avoided by listening to the advice of a wiser and even male elder. Such a spider in this case believes herself to be invincible and the wisest coolest head to make any decision.

I’m delighted to have properly disabused a certain spider (and her husband) of such a notion. Better late than never. Not that such is likely to learn from this or any other experience because, of course, she is so “smart” and “intelligent,” whereas I am just a fool for love.

I’m glad that I’m not her.

One thought on “Burmese Pythons

  1. Pingback: Burmese Pythons | Manosphere.com

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