The title of this piece is a difficult concept for many to comprehend and perhaps requires judicious application of tobacco smoke to the brain in order for this comprehension to be accomplished.
A negotiated power-exchange relationship is a very risky endeavor for both parties. The notion that the submissive shoulders all of the risk is entirely fallacious. Rather both parties shoulder significant risk unless the relationship is one of those mild, “normal”, play-acting ones which require group dynamics, costumes, and affectations such as what is known as “slash speak”.
Here is an example of “slash speak” as spoken by a Dominant:
I seek a woman who will serve Me in all ways. W/we will embark on an amazing relationship. I will Dominate you. you will serve Me.
In a relationship where the Dominant takes responsibility for all decisions which the submissive is required to obey (albeit perhaps some discussion period of politely phrased objections is permissible) part of the justification for that dynamic is that even when the result goes awry it is then the Dominant’s responsibility for making the decision, assuming that the submissive wholly obeyed, and he further has the responsibility for making things right.
A submissive woman who does not have a mind of her own to give is incapable of fully consenting to such a dynamic and therefore such a dynamic is a form of statutory rape.
A woman who willingly yields ownership of her body, decisions, life, etc., or whatever and however the relationship is negotiated, to anyone who merely calls himself a ‘Dominant’ is an idiot which is not to say that he also is not an idiot.
A man who calls himself a Dominant who says to a prospective submissive, “Let’s meet. You decide the place.” who then waffles upon her compliance with this request such as to question her submission, has not taken responsibility for the request he gave her. That’s passive aggressiveness. I call it a “request” because she is still a prospective submissive.
A prospective submissive who is incapable of complying with a request has a responsibility to politely phrase her objections (in most cases). A prospective submissive who complies with a request has demonstrated that she is not only capable of compliance but, in this particular case, has demonstrated that she has enough of a will of her own to intelligently make a decision and is thereby an adult of agency. Without agency, she cannot consent to a negotiated power-exchange relationship because she is incapable of consent.
A man incapable of shouldering the risk of responsibility does not deserve a woman shouldering the risk of obedience to him. That said, the risk of Dominating a woman whose mind exceeds his own capabilities is great and he may therefore be wise to exhibit his true passive-aggressive colors such as to save face. That doesn’t mean that he is wise enough to call himself a ‘Dominant’.
That said, such a man is equally likely to find himself a frilly retiring ultra-feminine manipulative ‘submissive’ who will have him effectively castrated and ritualistically slaughtered in a fortnight. Pity.