Cuckservative Naples, Florida

First I read this article: Refugee From Cuckservatism

Then I went to Whole Foods in order to purchase a few things I needed. The Whole Foods around here happens to be near a popular cigar bar. As I drove, I wondered, ‘How many liberal women shop at Whole Foods, and then indulge in the guilty pleasure of catching a glance at the patrons at that bar?’

Could be worthy of a hidden camera to count them.

Inside the requisite Whole Foods cafe, where I enjoyed a beverage (aloe juice, if you must know), I spied a local advertising circular named, Naples Florida Weekly: In the Know. In the Now

(week of July 30-August 5, 2015)

I picked it up, and noticed that it was, “The Man Issue.” Perfect timing.

I decided to head over to the cigar bar and have a nice candela while reading it.

Here are a few choice quotes:

It helps that many of this week’s stories are written by women, who often know better than men what’s good for them.

Hmmmm. What to buy of course. That’s the whole point of this newspaper.

I’m glad that the author used the word, “often,” albeit in this context I might have said “sometimes.” After all, it was largely women who demanded that men give up hanging out with other men, smoking, saturated fat, cholesterol, red meat, protectiveness, and so on.

Here’s some of the quotes from the women who wrote for this issue:

In a welcome display of moral courage, the Republican governor of South Carolina, Nikki Haley, said it was time to retire this painful symbol of slavery and racial hatred. Her leadership fortified the courage of those refusing in the past to comply, the grace of the victims’ families shaming most of the holdouts into getting right with God.

Compliance is courage.

There can be no genuine racial reconciliation between blacks and whites without white acceptance of this historical truth.

Accept my version of history, truth, and God. Amen.

Then there was this gem of an article, “A woman’s view of a man’s man.”

It was painful to read. The gist of the article was that men who actually do stuff don’t pay Ms. Snowflake enough attention. Pout! Whereas the “man’s man” she prefers today is one who is

…the kind who hires somebody else to fix his house or repair his car. This type of man is seductive, too, and he always makes time for me. Plus, he never has grease on his hands.

Pay attention to me me me and buy me stuff stuff stuff!

First on the agenda, Honey, remodel the house (that’s the bulk of the advertising), and hire somebody hot for me who will do whatever I want. Run along, Honey. Go golf or something. Don’t you worry about a thing. He’ll be busy doing stuff and besides his hands will be greasy as he assembles my new flakeboard cabinets.

I threw down the paper and just then, one of my favorite songs played.

Back to the first article:

Then, as predictable as the sunrise, the old guard of the right wing emerged, and the denials began. The flag, they said, was about heritage, not hatred —but history proves them wrong.

You’re certain about that, right? Those old tired “guard” men of the right wing didn’t give Ms. Snowflake what she wants? How horrible. Poor poor Ms. Snowflake!

Texas is leading other states dominated by conservatives into this fictional morass. It has adopted standards for textbooks that promulgate a historically inaccurate account of the origins of the Civil War, downplaying slavery as its principle cause.

Oh no! Bad bad conservatives! Shame on you!

Reminded me of something I saw engraved at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C.:

My paramount object in this struggle is to save the Union, and is not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save the Union without freeing any slave I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone I would also do that. What I do about slavery, and the colored race, I do because I believe it helps to save the Union; and what I forbear, I forbear because I do not believe it would help to save the Union. I shall do less whenever I shall believe what I am doing hurts the cause, and I shall do more whenever I shall believe doing more will help the cause.

–The Collected Works of Abraham Lincoln edited by Roy P. Basler, Volume V, “Letter to Horace Greeley” (August 22, 1862), p. 388.

Conservative men of Naples, Florida, if you don’t want me to laugh at you, please give your women something else to do.

6 thoughts on “Cuckservative Naples, Florida

  1. “Why Can’t a Woman …”

    I’m settled on it.
    There is, yes, there is
    A Difference.

    Between men and women,
    Or women and men,
    Take yer sequence as you will.

    No, I don’t mean differences in
    The obvious plumbing
    And other paraphernalia,

    Or even the more exaggerated movements
    Of hands and arms and hips peculiar to each
    (Although they may signify the difference I perceive)


    It’s a matter of necessary tolerance, in the male,
    Of mood swings in the female
    Without his feeling blame or duty.

    It means him always, while in her presence,
    Being on standby to offer some degree of response
    To her random utterances, while trying single-mindedly
    To pursue his own activities in the household.

    I crave the company of men

    Where tools are cleaned and put away
    Immediately upon the completion of the task
    (And almost all things are tools).

    Where when one says he doesn’’t want
    To be interrupted until further notice —
    He isn’’t.

    Where the other does not make loud, unexpected noises
    Even when encountering
    An arachnid, insect or rodent.
    (Maybe a bear warrants a loud noise.)

    Where in conversation one stays, generally,
    On topic until it feels completed,
    Unless we agree to a brief brainstorm.

    Maybe you get the picture?
    I gets clearer as one ages

    Yes, this is a lament,
    But it is not as Professor Higgins says:
    “Why can’t a woman be more like a man?”

    Rather, this lament is:

    “How can a woman reasonably expect
    A man to behave like a woman
    Until that spontaneous moment when
    She wants him to behave like a man,
    And vice versa.”


    I’m finished talking now.

    I’m gonna take a walk.

  2. Pingback: A Man’s View of a Girly Girl | caprizchka

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