On Being Childless and Not Exactly Married

An article by Judgybitch inspires a long winded comment by yours truly:

http://judgybitch.com/2015/04/24/spinster-how-feminists-celebrate-being-a-selfish-witch/

My response:

While I sympathize with all the viewpoints expressed in the article in one way or another (while rejecting others), the notion that we all have to live our lives as role models for children is fallacious. Obviously those who chose to do so are doing their part to shape the next generation. However, just how much progress has been achieved on that front? A few shining examples like Ms. Bloomfield notwithstanding, the future looks rather dim to me, and I am proud to not have perpetuated the dysfunctions. It wasn’t “selfishness” by a long shot unless the refusal to accept the paradigm of endless population growth is “selfish”.

All that said, in my own life, my most satisfying relationships have been without benefit or crutch of marriage, and have hardly been free of either obligation or responsibility on my part as well as his. Turning to the government as my “patriarch” has never been an option given my principles. I’m delighted to be living in “sin”, f-ing my “boss”, and caring for him in sickness as well as in health. I’m also not adverse to obeying him rather than some ideology that couldn’t care less about me.

Obviously, I’m no role model, in terms of traditional norms. However, should there be a total infrastructure collapse, perhaps I will be such a role model given that relationships will have to be redefined altogether for purposes of survival. Specifically, I believe in both the carrot and the stick approach in terms of enforcing negotiated gender roles. I’m not “oppressed” but rather empowered by my servitude to a man I admire.

I’m also an example that not all social renegades need end up in destitution or flagrant self-destruction. My very existence is somewhat of an embarrassment to ideologues of all persuasions. Such ideologues would jump to hold me up as either a cautionary tale or a rags-to-riches success story for which they can take credit. Lacking either option, I used to be happily invisible, as a self-preservation strategy. However, as my purpose in life, caring for my terminally ill partner, draws to a close, I’ll be shifting my purpose.

Meanwhile, he would appear to be actually thriving and full of life.

Therefore, instead of waiting for him to end this chapter in my life, I’ve decided to embark on a project I’ve had in mind for quite some time which is to write a second book. Although I have actually written many books as a technical writer and ghost writer/editor, this will be only my second under my own nom-de-plume. Therefore, if I seem to disappear for long periods it is either because I am working on my book or am perhaps grieving.

Thank you for stopping by.

One thought on “On Being Childless and Not Exactly Married

  1. Pingback: On Being Childless and Not Exactly Married | Manosphere.com

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