Sinister Musings

Ever since college trigonometry, I’ve been wondering about the word “sin” and whether it has anything to do with leftward motion, planets that appear to be retrograde, and clocks that go backward. Some bacteria are left-turning, such as L-acidophillus, with that “L” meaning “left”, whereas kefir is produced by right-turning bacteria.

The natural world is full of microbes that turn left or right.

For me, there is no “Heaven” or “Hell” but rather “forward” and “backward”, with “forward” being a relative term according to perspective. Progress marches on and so does time however there is no guarantee that the forward motion that “progress” appears to be is not actually regressive, and the same would apply to “Heaven” if one’s compass is impaired.

If everything is black/white or good/evil then children at the least know what to do as do adults determined to be children forever. The commands given to children are simplistic: Violence is bad. Service to one’s country is good. Disobedience is bad. Obedience is good, unless the ruler is “bad” rather than “good”.

I believe in a “soul” or something that is “self” that transcends the body; however, narcissists and others with poor self-differentiation who depend on using other people for a sense of power, probably have a weak “soul” that requires a host “soul” in order to exercise “self love”. The more there are narcissists, the more it would appear to me that devolution is in play, or a retrograde Earth according to the perspective of an “other”.

To children, the persons with obvious and visible power are more “powerful” than those with not-so-obvious or invisible power. It is all a matter of perspective. Persons who believe themselves to be powerless are the ones more likely to abuse every bit of power they believe to be loose in their grasp, and to require validation of that power constantly.

Children, potential children, and women are “good” whereas men are “bad” unless they’re momma’s boys. “Good” boys rarely get pussy except as a reward for monetary outlay. “Bad” boys take it, often with little resistance, because they’re so sexy. Good/Bad/Sexy are all in the eyes of the beholder. It is all a matter of perspective. There is no one true way that applies to all persons, of all geographic locations, geographic origins, classes, or ages; however, an easily-understood moral code that even a child can grasp is how one builds an unbeatable utopia, until of course the inevitable demographic/resource/population “Apocalypse”, or cancer.

Endless growth is no more “good” than cancer is “good”. Each and every birth corresponds to an increasing level of death, as the baby grows and starts to consume that which another organism would otherwise consume. Of course, there is no depletion nor “Creation” in the universe. There is only recycling.

I believe that death is something like “Groundhog Day” in which the soul either looks left or looks right to see its “shadow” or the light. Is this directional looking random? free will? preordained? karma? I don’t know. But I would like to think that there is justice, eventually, in the greater scheme of things at least, and that even time is relative.

I believe that those who continue throughout their incarnations to “look left” have an increasingly harder time seeing “good” or “light” with each incarnation. Perhaps it takes a bit of “luck” or divine intervention for a person caught in a regressive cycle to have an epiphany. Perhaps it requires extreme trauma or love, which may be two halves of the same phenomenon.

I don’t believe it is possible to have joy without suffering, or to see the light without also seeing the dark; however, children and women tend to be necessarily sheltered, within the privileged classes at least, from the dark in favor of the light.

I am tending to a dying man who is my one true love while desperately trying to help him see the light even as the hospice  drugs and pain cloud truth and love. In my fantasy at least, when he dies, all the trauma and angst will briefly melt away for his true “self” to be so unencumbered such that he floats toward the light, which is love. I hope he knows how much I love him in his delirium and how much I pray for his positive passage to the next great adventure.

Please pray for him and his transcendence toward the light.

6 thoughts on “Sinister Musings

  1. Pingback: Sinister Musings |

  2. Pingback: One Life to Live | caprizchka

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