A Feminist Sailing Story

It has been almost two years since I was generously given the gift of attendance at a women’s sailing convention. I enjoy sailing and appreciate it; however, I’m not likely to captain a yacht any time soon. Therefore, I decided to sign up for classes on cooking on a long or short voyage, navigation, and recognizing light patterns at night. I figured that skills such as these might make me a better asset on a sailing vessel if I’m not the fastest “first mate” out there.

More importantly, I appreciated the opportunity to get to know my new female friend better and to enjoy a break from my usual house frau duties.

I received a phone call from the stalwart organizer of the convention urging me to take more challenging courses. It was important to her that I be a bit more gung ho and to actually get out on the hands-on sailing class on a boat with a bunch of women. Perish the thought! I didn’t want to tell her that when I want to learn something, generally speaking, I prefer my lessons from a man. This revelation would likely have caused her to despise me and perhaps even sabotage my experience! I kept my trap shut. Then I remembered that I had motorsailed up the California coast with my ex-husband. If I have survived that, I hardly needed to have a bunch of women “gently guide me” into a sport I can’t afford. I told her the first part but held my tongue on the second.

So I learned a few things and I had fun.

The convention capped off with a dinner in which speakers spoke and awards were given. I noted that a fair number of awards were given to “women” who were born with testicles. That seemed odd to me but I kept my trap shut. If the whole point of the convention was to give more sailing opportunities to women, however, the awards were actually well-placed because this year’s key awardee was dedicated to doing just that—introducing cis women to sailing.

Apparently there are plenty of women who find being taught sailing by a man “oppressive”. Not me! However, I confess to being taken aback by lesbians who would want to “teach me” anything, to include transwomen lesbians. Thanks but no thanks.

The keynote speaker was some famous female sailor who had arms like she meant it. Impressive!

She was apparently a part of some presidential task force to teach Arab women how to sail. Naturally, we are talking about Arab countries who are warm to the prospect of lowering their birthrate (the usual objective of teaching Third World women how to do something other than make babies).

The sailor talked about the challenges of such a mission. In particular, she noticed that the Arab women didn’t seem to have enough strength for some of the activities and so she asked them what they ate. She told them that they needed to eat more protein to include meat in order to build muscles and strength. It turns out that in the households of these Arab women, the men would eat first, and whatever was left was consumed by the women, namely, meat.

This revelation caused a collective gasp among the yacht-owning ladies who lunch.

It also caused a thought to jump into my head that wouldn’t stand down and it was all I could do not to voice it. Therefore, I sensibly decided to hold my peace and simply drink more. I am voicing it now. Here it goes:

Will there now be more meat in the household so that the women will get more meat to eat? Where will this meat come from? Will the government give it to them? If not, will the men simply be expected to eat less?

If the latter, then, I guess we’ll be seeing plummeting birth rates soon what with extra-muscular Arab women and protein-starved men. That should work out well.

My generous friend and I are no longer speaking. She can’t understand how I allow myself to be so abused as to live with, serve, and love my Dominant. It probably goes without saying but I do indeed give him the choicest morsels to eat. His health and vigor is more important to our joint well-being than mine.

In most societies, the health, strength, and vigor of men are more important to keeping their society going than for the women. It is all about economizing resources not some sort of creative economics that somehow magically results in more of everything for everyone.

Feminists seem to have difficulty with math.

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