Goodbye Cunnilingus

Not every sexual act in the universe is required for happiness. I’m beginning to understand why oral sex may be prohibited by some religions. Personally, I don’t care, Dear Reader, what you do or don’t do.

However, I am getting mightily tired of the mangina advice to other men that cunnilingus is required for a happy heterosexual relationship or that it is somehow more wholesome than fellatio. It isn’t. It’s about personal choice. Your preferences may be different from mine and your hard limits may be different from mine. It’s none of my business, really. Speaking of which, this post may be Too Much Information for some readers. I have no idea how you happened to accidentally wander here. You may regret it.

I’ve read a bit about circumcision including that dreadful procedure known as female circumcision. There are degrees of barbarism in the practice, and sometimes the reasons for “circumcision lite” are actually valid such as to minimize disease risk (hello HPV!) or even deliberately change sexual response from one form to another, which, if I wanted to reach, is kind of like piercing a baby’s ears; because after all the earlobes are erogenous zones. In any case, I’ve been convinced that the practice is not necessarily any less valid than male circumcision even if I’m not about to fully argue my position there either. Rather, I tend to stick to the position of non-interference in cultures and customs that we do not understand and even those we do. There’s nothing like outside meddling to have far-reaching unintended consequences. Don’t believe me? Try buying raw milk in rural Venezuela. It’s heartbreaking but it’s nearly all salted within an inch of its life and otherwise unpalatable. Thank heavens for the global obsession (and lowering standards) over hypertension in that at least sweet milk and cream is available upon request, sometimes, if one were to make special arrangements beforehand and feign hypertension.

I don’t believe that the state should own children, nor the parents, nor the church. I rather believe that the community should “own” children with a community being a fictional construct from fairy tales etc., consisting of a small group of persons who live in the same locale and who do not admit newcomers into that locale without some sort of vetting. These neighbors would by definition have like minds. Such persons would have the power and the firepower to both elect and remove representatives from government and clergy. Aren’t I the romantic? Perhaps they might all decide that both women and children are community property! Oh horrors. How awful to be so taken care of and protected. How wonderful to live in the modern age instead where we’re all dirt. Sigh.

Anyhow, back to cunnilingus. There may be very good reasons to prohibit the practice.

It works like this.

The job of a religion is to perpetuate itself and the society which adopts it. Otherwise, it won’t exist!

Here’s the problem with cunnilingus: When men are not producing enough testosterone in order to satisfy women with cock alone and women are not producing enough testosterone to have subtantial clitoral/graffenburg/U-spot apparatuses that can be stimulated by a cock alone, nor enough progesterone for an orgasmically-functioning uterus, it might mean that neither party is ideally biologically suited to replicate their genes, food choices, lifestyle, or family tree. But we might not know this conclusively for several generations upon which it is too late and there goes the neighborhood. Left to their own devices, such persons might create a society of wimpy puny-dick men and mutant entitlement-princess females. We don’t know, but, this could happen! Why take a chance?

Prior to modern medicine, a woman such as the one described above might just as easily die in childbirth or her progeny unable to survive. If one part of her is not sufficiently developed, perhaps her hips are also not sufficiently developed, or the nutrition she gives to her fetus is substandard.

Therefore, those who engage in cunnilingus might actually be biologically defective. If they are biologically defective, they might also be psychologically defective and thereby might ought to be discouraged from reproducing. Since no one can truly discourage anyone from reproducing except by impoverishing them out of sexual desire, the demonization of persons who engage in cunnilingus might, in the long haul, discourage those genetic lines from thriving or at least fail to inspire children to grow up and imitate them.

Just because a man is an artist at cunnilingus and impotent or nearly so, does not mean that such a man is “a lesbian trapped in a man’s body.”

Rather, it might mean that he just doesn’t quite cut the mustard as a man and has otherwise swallowed all the garbage diet advice of today, starved himself of nutrients in favor of a vegetarian or near-vegetarian diet, or otherwise shamed himself (and elevated his cortisol at the expense of his testosterone) out of virility or at least enough oomph to satisfy a woman with his cock alone.

Moreover, such a man might actually attract women who are not particularly into cock but who appreciate his talented mouth (and wallet) to a point that they actually disdain cock. Such a man might even attract a lesbian as a wife, marry her, and sufficiently arouse himself (and sweet-talk her) such as to be able to impregnate her and produce children as the product of two substandard parents, and then go on to alienate the police department of a major international city (not to name any names).

Then the two hormonally abnormal persons would be creating progeny that are bound to show some defects down the line thereby endangering the viability of the religion, eventually, even if it takes multiple generations for the effect to manifest.

Not being particularly religious myself, although I understand the rationality, since I don’t usually even like cunnilingus, and I would just assume not associate with men who are unable to resist being so estrogenized and pussy-whipped at the same time that such a man effectively chokes off his own testosterone, such that his tongue is the best he’s got, I’m willing to forgo the practice altogether. Goodbye cunnilingus.

Now it so happens that I have known a few men who do not fit into the above categories who have everything they need between their legs and ears to satisfy me and yet have also chosen to become masters at cunnilingus, in addition to their cocksmanship. Those men are rare. I hereby choose to deprive such men of the taste of me too. Here’s why:

Such rare men are a treasure and deserve to be protected from even the possibility of transmission of HPV which could lead to various horrible cancers. Although I am negative for HPV, I don’t want to set a bad example. If I need more than just cock from such a man, there’s such a thing as toys and fingers (preferably his fingers) or the seat of a revving Harley Davidson, for example. Or a low gravelly voice! Oh I love those. Yes it’s true. I can be talked into an orgasm.

The first time I had really great cunnilingus (after a string of instances of really bad cunnilingus) it happened to have been an outlaw biker and it wasn’t some sort of choice that I could have declined if I had wanted. I mean, it wasn’t rape but, it was sort of a “no turning back” situation that I could have extricated myself from at the onset but once things were in motion all will to remove myself from the situation was gone. Nowadays, I realize that entitlement princesses have decided that “this is rape.” It isn’t. That’s just garbage. I believe the proper term is “ravishment.” It is one of my cherished memories. Frankly, that’s the only way I can possibly enjoy cunnilingus which is by someone who is so good and so confident that he’ll force it on me. However, no more. I cannot bear to endanger such a treasure of a man by encouraging such a risky practice today and no way would a latex dam make it “better.” Goodbye cunnilingus.

A diet of veggies and shame, with not enough cholesterol, muscle, and swearing (and dare I say, tobacco), has made an awful lot of Western men unable to passably fuck with the tool they were born with. However, most of these men are too old to be a beautiful “woman”, no matter how much money they throw at their thick-skinned jowly selves. A smart MtF transsexual starts young—very young. Even so, there’s no guarantee that such a “woman” will find himself a “lesbian” willing to swallow the gag, so to speak. Meanwhile, there aren’t all that many manly men left in the world who prefer a manufactured woman over a biological one. So good luck but count me out. Thanks.

As for women who desire to either dominate me, impress their menfolk, or otherwise have come up with a reason to offer to eat me out, I say, “pass.” I’ve had it pretty good from such women from time to time but on balance it was never worth it in that there’s always a catch somewhere down the line for me. Obviously, a religion out to perpetuate itself would be anti-homosexuality. I am beginning to understand why.

I say this even though I have in fact been on the receiving end of the first orgasm of two women right in my kisser. I’m not particularly repentant except to say, eventually, this good deed did not go unpunished. Women are weird and frankly not worth it to me. I am so glad that I am not a heterosexual man and thereby obligated to put up with the female nut jobs of today.

Now we move on to fellatio. My own love for the practice sadly informs my understanding of why it may be prohibited, and not for the reasons they say.

If a woman is not genetically and nutritionally sound enough to arouse and please a man with her presence and vagina alone, perhaps something is “wrong” with either of them. Perhaps, such as in my case back when I was a vegetarian, she doesn’t have the tissue integrity to sustain a relationship with a prime cocksman, night after night, and thereby makes up for it with her oral skills. Perhaps, like me, she has Marfan’s Syndrome (an indication of incest in the family tree) and is thereby graced with the bone structure that makes her practically designed for deep throating and receiving emotional and vicarious pleasure herself that way. Meanwhile, she may possess flaws in her hips, uterine tissue, and bone structure that might make birthing a child vaginally risky for both mother and child in the same way as the prior scenario.

Since however I personally enjoy giving fellatio, deep throating, and face-fucking and there’s no possibility of my getting pregnant, I shall continue to do so. This shall go on at least until a new religious mob burns me at the stake as a warning to children or as at least a disincentive to making me a role model for impressionable youngsters.

As for all you cunnilingus-lovers and fellatio-haters out there, if this piece actually inhibits your life in any way then perhaps you’re suffering from micro-encephalitis. I don’t mind saying that I would enjoy watching you engage in head-fucking provided you can find a willing orifice to accommodate you.

26 thoughts on “Goodbye Cunnilingus

  1. As a non-reciprocating, cunnilingus-hating, oral-loving, self-centered chauvinist pig I say “fine screed”, cappy.

    As a Jamaican fellow I used to work with once said, “meh no eat under de table mon”.

    The vagina is an excellent organ, with a number of uses, but I don’t particularly want to confront it face to face, as it were, especially just because I’m supposed to via some kind of reparations for patriarchy and all those aeons of long suffering females getting humped by horny males with no concept of the so called female orgasm.

    Young men would benefit from your wisdom.

  2. I like to start at the inner thigh just above the knee kissing and rubbing my cheek along the soft supple flesh. Savoring the distinct scent, while slowly closing in on the prize, I bury my face in her pubic hair. I rub my nose on her clitoris and kiss her pussy lips.

    I love the giddy variety of female pubic hair. Thick curly bushes, short, neat little triangles, close cropped dense patches and longer strands growing wildly all over the place. The fire-crotch is the best and I’ve had two of those in my life. Both uniquely different but equally satisfying. I never kiss bald chicks on either pair of lips.

    Where was I? Oh yeah, kissing hairy pussy lips. Ummm. Out comes the tongue and the sucking and licking continues until one of us can’t stand any more. My favorite is the mutual satisfaction exchanged in the sixty-nine position. The compelling intimacy of full body contact has a spiritual dimension. A coupling of the gods, a profound communication of energy and desire, the closest a man and woman can get.

    “Don’t say goodbye, please say hello…hello-hello.”
    H/T The Beatles

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  4. Hmm.. I believe there is an issue of tobacco contributing to impotence.
    And..I’m not sure the cruel joke of clitoral placement doesn’t contribute more to lack of penetration orgasm than inadequate cocksmanship. You could be very lucky in your own physiology.
    As a hetero male, love doggy but am uninterested…nay..repulsed by thoughts of anal and really uninterested in 3 way trysts. I’m not a prude..but it sure seems like there is a similar level of assumption with those.
    But yes..good deeds with many women are often highly punishable..and if what you write is true, you have given me one more reason to avoid vegans.

    • The psycho-sexual warfare between religions and agendas cannot be over-stated. Hitler was a largely-vegetarian tobacco hater and we all know about what he was into. (Can I hear an “Ewwwww”?)

      Cocksmanship is not what he’s known for.
      However his research continues to inform mainstream medical research even though its biases are extreme and was replaced by supposedly unbiased research with foregone conclusions. People believed in him and thereby the entire nonsense of the ’70’s was born and widely disseminated.

      In my own research I find impotence more closely correlated with insulin and alcohol consumption than tobacco. Tobacco, after all, is testosterogenic, while alcohol and insulin are estrogenic. Don’t believe the agenda-ridden hype.

      See https://caprizchka.wordpress.com/2014/10/02/the-naval-orange-and-the-perfect-woman-the-ironic-failure-of-the-california-eugenics-movement/

      It’s all about control.

      Kinsey specifically used his study of criminals and outliers to create truisms that supposedly apply to “normal” people (people whose habits fall within the mean).

      Flexner studied French Prostitutes in order to devise health standards for housewives.

      Freud had his own biases.

      These studies continue to inform mainstream research. However, people are not like other scientific subjects–there are no “control groups,” when it comes to human beings except with artificial constructs, bias, and agendas. All we know about human physiology also has geographic, contemporary, religious, economic, and political factors, as well as the myriad influences of nutrition and genetics, over generations.

      The clitoral orgasm differs from the Grafenburg and U-spot orgasms, and uterine orgasm. Women with clitorectomies are capable of orgasm. Women who are overly clitorally-centered however become dependent on clitoral stimulation. Other people become dependent on anal stimulation. And then there are The Kellogg brothers…

      Even the notion of “prude” is informed by contemporary standards or “assumptions”.

      Sexuality however doesn’t benefit from “democracy” and neither does nutrition science. Sexuality and nutrition are inextricably linked, but just how is the trillion-dollar question (and that’s not an exaggeration.)

      As for “luck,” that’s also an agenda-ridden word. I’m lucky to be immune from mainstream propaganda disseminated by Feminists, Nazis, and Social Marxists. There’s my dubious “luck”.

  5. Hitler as the root of and faulty “underpinner” of modern medicine? Interesting.
    Regarding tobacco and impotence:
    CONCLUSION:

    Evidence from epidemiological studies suggests that smoking, especially current smoking, may significantly increase the risk of ED.

    PMID:
    23573257
    [PubMed – indexed for MEDLINE]
    PMCID:
    PMC3616119

    Free PMC Article:
    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3616119/

    Regarding extra clitoral orgasm:
    http://aplus.com/a/apparently-the-g-spot-is-a-myth

    • Your familiarity with your own gospel doesn’t make it true. My reluctance to whip out my own however is according to my principles. I don’t engage in refutation of mainstream dogma anonymously, over the internet. Perhaps you should return to your flock, terrified of tobacco and blissfully unaware of the versatility of the female anatomy.

      • Re tobacco. Not all people are constituted alike (biologically). Some folks benefit from smoking tobacco, and others should avoid it.

        A pregnant woman whose fetus is growing too quickly for her particular body (say, the father is a large man and she is a small woman) can benefit from ingestion of tobacco, as it would slow down the too-fast growth of the fetus. And, indeed, I read about this being done in a certain Asian culture, at least in the past.

        People who are tall, rangy, loose, too expanded in both mind and body – these would not be harmed by some tobacco. Indeed, they would crave it; it makes them feel “right”, with its contracting, consolidating property. But persons who are already too-tightly wound in mind, and with small, dense bodies, may be harmed if they don’t curb their intake of cigs.

        These are traditional ideas, not based on socalled medical “research”. “Researchers” are all biased, looking to prove their pre-existing biases.

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