Dear Random Collection of Biological Matter, having properties similar to other collections that are located within the biosphere of the planet known as “Earth”, with some unique properties albeit at a non-statistically significant level:
I have just gotten off the phone with Sir Richard Dawkins, and he emphatically insists that although you are neither an authorized, certified, nor “real” missionary of Atheism, your efforts shall not go unnoticed nor unrewarded. He has informed me that he fervently hopes that you receive in the here and now the providence of 18 Atheist Virgins, all of whom have received a worldly education strictly limited to the breathless repetition of your name. So be it.
He has requested of me a favor—and since he asked nicely, I’ve agreed—which is to transmit to you an important message, which he has strongly assured comes from the very highest levels. Although I do not personally recognize the language of this message, I have reason to believe it is Atheist-Latin, and Dick has assured me that you will be able to understand it. I herewith faithfully render that message:
Illkay atthay itchbay, Aprizchkacay